First I don’t have a lot of energy and when I do I’m bad about
overdoing it and wearing myself out so I have to recuperate from overdoing
it. It’s a vicious cycle.
Second, I don’t look sick.
The optometrist said to me, when he found out I have stage IV cancer,
“But you have hair. Why do you have
hair?” Seriously dude? Yeah and he looked about 18 too! So I slowly, get it?, anyway - slowly explained
to him that the cancer I have isn’t treatable with Chemo and Chemo is what
makes you lose your hair. “Oh, I thought
everyone with cancer lost their hair,” was his wise reply.
Umm hmmmmm.
Even though I don’t look sick I do use a cane and have a limp
sometimes, not always. Not always -
because sometimes I feel better but most of the time I get tired when I go out
and start tripping - because I’m
tired. Sometimes though my leg
hurts (the one with the rod and bolt) and because I have tumors in my pelvic
bone and on my spine that affect my legs, and back and it’s just better to have
a cane when I get trip-sy…get it?
trip-sy not tipsy. Though some of
these medications for my pain make me feel tipsy and get trip-sy. So, again, it’s a vicious cycle.
After 5 years of living with this I think I’m finely beginning to
learn a few things.
For instance, I wanted to make Chuck a day after Father’s day - nice
dinner - because I felt like it. This is
going to turn into a rant, sorry. About
45 minutes into preparation, (no longer feeling like it) I got tired, and
started having a lot more pain and got frustrated. The kitchen looked like a war zone even
though the recipe said 15 minutes prep time.
Ok now I have a gripe with that.
Forty-five freakin minutes after what was supposed to take 15 minutes
and I’m exhausted and the kitchen’s a wreck.
I learned what happens on TV isn’t what happens in real life when it
comes to how long it really takes to prepare something. I’m guessing the vegetables were already cut
up, and the meat, and she already had everything out and ready before she started
timing it. With the magic of TV you have
a clean kitchen, and prepared veges and meat, and the stop and start videoing ‘till
you get it right, all of this going on behind the scenes. I should have known no kitchen looks that
clean after messing with that much meat and veges. Plus her shirt is always spotless, really?! That is not the real world when
cooking something like this. I have
spots and holes in my shirts I wear to cook in.
Yeah I know wear an apron - but hot flashes from cancer meds say no.
Layering anymore clothes on top of clothes in a hot kitchen in the state of
Florida - ain’t gonna happen! If it were up to the meds and Chuck
I’d cook naked but I’m really not comfortable with
that.
So anyhoo, I got everything prepared like she said-finally-and then
I decided to cook it in the crock pot to keep the house from heating up because
this is Florida. When I get it into the
crock pot I realize it’s not going to be done when Chuck gets home if I don’t
put it into the oven, bummer. I’m not
going to go by her time frame any more when I use her recipes. I love her don’t get me wrong but the
illusion of TV makes it seem much less work than it is. I’m talking about the PW who I found online
before she became famous and I knew from what I saw she would become famous if
she was discovered. She has a super
interesting life and any recipes I’ve used have always been really good. I cannot afford, financially, to cook a lot
of the things she makes because let’s face it she lives on a cattle ranch so
her beef is free and mine is not. I
imagine her food (especially the beef) is exceptionally fresh with living on a ranch. I have priced some of the things she’s made
for a crowd, one of her roast or steak dinners, the meat was way over $100, I can’t
afford that!
Anyway, all this had me imagining things I could do online, such as:
Showing people how to cook affordable, 20-30 minute - start
to finish - real world meals, and how you should eat if you have cancer –also
on a budget, and things that you have to do and change because of having cancer. Usually when you watch a cooking show on TV
it seems the budget is non-existent and they surely don’t take into
consideration days of nausea and days of bloating from medications and
generally feeling like crap. Everyone on
TV has beautiful hair, makeup, jewelry, manicures, pedicures, and not a drop of
sweat on them. Must be nice.
I will end with this. It was
a really good dinner, one of my favorites and I will find a way to make it more
time and cost effective for us.
If you want to try the recipe, it’s called Burgundy Beef Stew. I will say I never liked beef stew but I
really like this one.
This is the link:
Thanks for getting real with me!
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