Cancer

October 6, 2016

I haven't been writing for a bit. We've had a lot of doctor appointments, both of us.  My last appointment -the doctor said there's cancer on my liver – that was a bit scary.  I will be starting two new meds.  One should get here Tuesday and the other is a shot in my butt and not sure when it starts.  The doctor kept saying, "you'll get two shots in your butt, one in each butt."  I thought it was funny that he thought my butt was so big it's two butts.  But, ha - he said it more than once and I wanted to laugh - but Chuck wasn't laughing.  

I was afraid to look at Chuck while the doctor was in the room.  I didn't want to get upset.  When the doctor left the room I looked at him and he was very upset.  I had been too busy listening and trying to remember everything he said to get upset plus the butt thing seriously made me want to laugh.

Before we went to the doctor we knew something was wrong because they asked us to go in to the office to discuss the test results.  Chuck had asked me what I thought the worse case scenario would be and I said, “to me the it would be that the cancer has spread beyond my bones.”  Looking at Chuck in the doctor's office and him being so upset - I remembered that I'd said that to him before we got there.  I did not want to get upset while I was there and told him to stop - that everything would be ok.  He looked at me and pulled himself together.  I said something about the two butts thing and he was ok after that.  We both deal better with humor.

Now I'm waiting for insurance to ok everything and get started on this next treatment.  I also decided it's time to try seriously eating healthier and started the Whole 30 last Monday.  I lost 10 lbs the first week - shock.  I know they say not to weigh yourself during the 30 day period but at doctor appointments they require it and that was how I found out.  I need to lose weight but I don't really think it's a good idea right now while I’m starting meds that can make you nauseous - so that's not my goal but getting into healthier eating habits is and this seems to be helping.  

The information the doctor gave me about the new meds says nausea and vomiting are possible plus a lot of other nasty side-effects but he said it's rare for people to have them so here's hoping.  They also say to stay away from crowds and sick people because they will make it easier for me to get sick.  Not happy about that.

We’ll see what happens.

September 25, 2016

“If we find ourselves with a desire that

nothing in this world can satisfy,

the most probable explanation is that

we’re made for another world.”

                                     C.S. Lewis

My friend, Tracy, shared this with me

and it's how I feel at this time

in my life, living with this monster day

to day.

Thanks for sharing Tracy!